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Classic and Contemporary Poetry

THE VIZIER'S APOLOGY by ARTHUR GUITERMAN

First Line: SING, MUSE, OF THE ANGER OF HAROUN THE CALIPH
Last Line: HAD MADE AN EXCUSE THAT WAS WORSE THAN THE CRIME
@3Scheherezade's One-Thousand-and-Fourth Tale.@1

Sing, Muse, of the anger of Haroun the Caliph
Aroused by complaints of the Sheik of Irak!
"The scoundrel!" he thundered, "we'll clap him in jail if
We don't drop him overboard, sewn in a sack!
"The villain has robbed the imperial coffer,
And witnesses charge him with every abuse;
And think of the fellow disdaining to offer
Our Clemency even a shred of excuse!"

"Perhaps 'twere as well," said the Minister, smiling,
"To stifle our anger and wait for a time.
Excuses, like charges, are framed for beguiling;
Besides, the Excuse may be worse than the Crime."

"What nonsense!" cried Haroun, the monarch effulgent,
"To hint that the Fault can be less than the Plea!"
"Perhaps," purred the Minister, blandly indulgent,
"I'll prove to your Highness that such it may be."

The very next morning, superbly attended
By eunuchs in dozens and emirs in pairs,
With grandeur befitting the nobly-descended,
The Caliph descended the glittering stairs;

When, daring unspeakable woes and disasters
And rage that devours its prey like pilaff,
The Minister reached through the marble pilasters
And wickedly pinched the imperial calf!

Aghast at an outrage so shockingly sinister,
"Dog!" gasped the Autocrat, "what do you mean!"
"What a mistake!" wailed the profligate Minister;
"Pardon! your Highness, -- I thought 'twas the Queen!"

And then, by another experience wiser,
The Caliph with graciousness truly sublime
Admitted the fact that his faithful adviser
Had made an Excuse that was worse than the Crime



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