I. NEVER go to France Unless you know the lingo, If you do, like me, You will repent by jingo. Staring like a fool, And silent as a mummy, There I stood alone, A nation with a dummy. II. Chaises stand for chairs, They christen letters @3Billies,@1 They call their mothers @3mares,@1 And all their daughters @3fillies;@1 Strange it was to hear, I'll tell you what's a good 'un, They call their leather @3queer,@1 And half their shoes are wooden. III. Signs I had to make, For every little notion, Limbs all going like A telegraph in motion, For wine I reel'd about, To show my meaning fully, And made a pair of horns, To ask for "beef and bully." IV. Moo! I cried for milk; I got my sweet things snugger, When I kissed Jeannette, 'Twas understood for sugar. If I wanted bread, My jaws I set a-going, And asked for new-laid eggs, By clapping hands and crowing! V. If wish'd a ride, I'll tell you how I got it; On my stick astride, I made believe to trot it; Then their cash was strange, It bored me every minute, Now here's a @3hog@1 to change, How many @3sows@1 are in it? VI. Never go to France, Unless you know the lingo; If you do, like me, You will repent, by jingo; Staring like a fool, And silent as a mummy, There I stood alone, A nation with a dummy! | Discover our Poem Explanations and Poet Analyses!Other Poems of Interest...AT THE MERMAID TAVERN (APRIL 10, 1613) by EDGAR LEE MASTERS THE STIRRUP-CUP by LOUIS UNTERMEYER |