VOLAPUK by BENJAMIN FRANKLIN KING

WHEN I can speak
Volapuk,
Away to India's clime's I'll sneak,
And on my adamantine cheek
I'll sell a piano to a sheik.
I'll sell the French and Dutch,
And lease
Pianos to the Portuguese;
Then I'll drive over and explain
The new installment plan to Spain.

I'll journey south as far
As Cadiz,
And sell fair Andalusia's ladies
Or I'll exchange; the mandolin
I'll take, and put an upright in.

I'll hie me then
To Baltic strand,
And sell Miss Boskovitch a grand;
And shovel off old Peter Katzski,
Romanoff and Ruffonratsky.

Then far to Greenland
I will go,
And sell the sawed off Esquimaux;
I'll eat snow soup and Polar bear,
And try and work 'em on a square.

Of course by this time
I'll have a
Cheek as hard as Hecla's lava;
I'll travel West, go through Alaska,
Drop down and talk with Mrs. Chaska.

I'll court the Fijis
On their isle,
The old chief's daughter I'll beguile,
And talk piano by her side
While I am waiting to be fried,
When I can speak
Volapuk.

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