A LEGEND OF THE FOREIGN OFFICE by RUDYARD KIPLING

This is the reason why Rustum Beg, Rajah of Kolazai,
Drinketh the "simpkin" and brandy peg, Maketh the money to fly,
Vexeth a Government, tender and kind,
Also -- but this is a detail -- blind.

RUSTUM BEG of Kolazai -- slightly back-ward native state
Lusted for a C. S. I., -- so began to sanitate.
Built a Jail and Hospital -- nearly built a City drain --
Till his faithful subjects all thought their Ruler was insane.

Strange departures made he then -- yea,
Departments stranger still,
Half a dozen Englishmen helped the Rajah with a will,
Talked of noble aims and high, hinted of a future fine
For the state of Kolazai, on a strictly Western line.

Rajab Rustum held his peace; lowered octroi dues a half;
Organized a State Police; purified the. Civil Staff;
Settled cess and tax afresh in a very liberal way;
Cuttemptations of the flesh -- also cut the Bukhshi's pay;

Roused his Secretariat to a fine Mahratta fury,
Bya Hookum hinting at supervision of @3dasturi@1;
Turned the State of Kolazai very nearly upside-down;
When the end of May was nigh, waited his achievement crown.

Then the Birthday Honors came. Sad to state and sad to see,
Stood against the Rajah's name nothing more than @3C. I. E.@1!

Things were lively for a week in the State of Kolazai.
Even now the people speak of that time regretfully.

How he disendowed the Jail -- stopped at once the City drain;
Turned to beauty fair and frail -- got his senses back again;
Doubled taxes, cesses, all; cleared away each new-built @3thana@1;
Turned the two-lakh Hospital into a superb @3Zenana@1;

Heaped upon the Bukhshi Sahib wealth and honors manifold;
Clad himself in Eastern garb-squeezed his people as of old.
Happy, happy Kolazai! Never more will Rustum Beg
Play to catch the Viceroy's eye. He prefers the "simpkin" peg.

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