JEDGE is good at argyin' -- No mistake in that! Most folks 'at tackles @3him@1 He'll skin 'em like a cat! You see, the Jedge is read up, And b'en in politics, Hand-in-glove, you might say, Sence back in '56. Elected to the Shurrif, first, Then elected Clerk; Went into lawin' then, And buckled down to work; Practised three or four terms, Then he run for jedge -- Speechified a little 'round, And went in like a wedge! Run fer Legislatur' twic't -- Made her, ever' pop! Keeps on the way he's doin', Don't know where he'll stop! Some thinks he's got his eye On the gov'nership; -- Well, ef he tuk the track, Guess he'd make the trip. But I started out to tell ye -- (Now I allus liked @3the man@1 -- Not fer his politics, But @3social',@1 understan'! -- Fer, 's regards to @3my@1 views, Political and sich. -- When we come together there We're purty ap' to hitch) -- Ketched him in at Knox's shop On'y t'other day -- Gittin' shaved, the Jedge was, Er somepin' thataway. -- Well, I tetched him up some On the silver bill: -- Jedge says, "I won't discuss it;" @3I@1 says, "You @3will!"@1 I-says-ee, "I reckon You'll concede with me, @3Coin's@1 the on'y ginuine Money," I-says-ee; Says I, "What's a dollar-bill?" Says I, "What's a ten -- Er forty-'leven hunderd of 'em? Give us @3specie,@1 then!" I seed I was a-gittin' The Jedge kind o' red Around the gills. He hawked some And cle'red his throat and said -- "Facts is too complicated 'Bout the bill in view," Squirmed and told the barber then He wisht he'd hurry through. 'Ll, then, I knowed I had him, -- And the crowd around the fire Was all a-winkin' at me, As the barber raised him higher -- Says I, "jedge, what's a dollar? -- Er a half-un," I-says-ee -- "What's a @3quarter?@1 -- What's a @3dime?"@1 "What's @3cents?"@1 says he. W'y, I had him fairly b'ilin'! "You needn't comb my hair," He says to the barber -- "I want fresh air;" And you'd 'a' died a-laughin' To 'a' seed him grab his hat, As I-says-ee, says I, "Judge, Where you goin' at!" Jedge is good at argyin', By-and-large; and yit Beat him at his own game And he's going' to git! And yit the Jedge is read up, And b'en in politics, Hand-in-glove, you might say, Sence back in '56. | Discover our Poem Explanations and Poet Analyses!Other Poems of Interest...FROM THE GREATER TESTAMENT (XXII, XXIII, AND XXVI) by FRANCOIS VILLON OLD SUSAN by WALTER JOHN DE LA MARE THE BLACK FINGER by ANGELINA WELD GRIMKE THE LOVE SONNETS OF PROTEUS: 62. FAREWELL TO JULIET (14) by WILFRID SCAWEN BLUNT FOR A CERTAIN BELOVED GENTLEMAN by MARGARET E. BRUNER GLOOMY DECEMBER by ROBERT BURNS VALEDICTORY STANZAS TO JOHN P. KEMBLE, ESQ.; FOR A PUBLIC MEETING by THOMAS CAMPBELL |