SOME peoples thinks they ain't no Fairies @3now@1 No more yet! -- But they @3is,@1 I bet! 'Cause ef They @3wuzn't@1 Fairies, nen I'like to know Who'd w'ite 'bout Fairies in the books, an' tell What Fairies @3does,@1 an' how their @3picture@1 looks, An' all an' ever'thing! W'y, ef they don't Be Fairies any more, nen little boys 'Ud ist @3sleep@1 when they go to sleep an' won't Have ist no dweams at all, -- 'cause Fairies -- @3good@1 Fairies -- they're a-purpose to make dweams! But they @3is@1 Fairies -- an' I @3know@1 they is! 'Cause one time wunst, when it's all Summer-time, An' don't haf to be no fires in the stove Er fireplace to keep warm wiv -- ner don't haf To wear old scwatchy flannen shirts at all, An' ain't no fweeze -- ner cold -- ner snow! -- An' -- an' Old skweeky twees got all the gween leaves on An' ist keeps noddin', noddin' all the time, Like they 'uz lazy an' a-twyin' to go To sleep an' couldn't, 'cause the wind won't quit A-blowin' in 'em, an' the birds won't stop A-singin', so's they @3kin.@1 -- But twees @3don't@1 sleep, I guess! But @3little boys@1 sleeps -- an' @3dweams,@1 too. -- An' that's a sign they's Fairies. So, one time, When I be'n playin' "Store" wunst over in The shed of their old stable, an' Ed Howard He maked me quit a-bein' pardners, 'cause I dwinked the 'tend-like sody-water up An' et the shore-'nuff crackers, -- w'y, nen I Clumbed over in our garden where the gwapes Wuz purt' nigh ripe: An' I wuz ist a-layin' There on th' old cwooked seat 'at Pa maked in Our arber, -- an' so I 'uz layin' there A-whittlin' beets wiv my new dog-knife, an' A-lookin' wite up thue the twimbly leaves -- An' wuzn't 'sleep at all! -- An'-sir! -- first thing You know, a little @3Fairy@1 hopped out there! -- A @3leetle-teenty Fairy! -- hope-may-die!@1 An' he look' down at me, he did -- an' he Ain't bigger'n a @3yellerbird!@1 -- an' he Say "Howdy-do!" he did -- an' I could @3hear@1 Him -- ist as @3plain!@1 Nen @3I@1 say "Howdy-do!" An' he say @3"I'm@1 all hunky, Nibsey; how Is @3your@1 folks comin' on?" An' nen I say "My name ain't @3'Nibsey,'@1 neever -- my name's @3Bud.@1 -- An' what's @3your@1 name?" I says to him. An' he Ist laugh an' say, @3"'Bud's@1 awful @3funny@1 name!" An' he ist laid back on a big bunch o' gwapes An' laugh' an' laugh', he did -- like somebody 'Uz tick-el-un his feet! An' nen I say -- "What's @3your@1 name," nen I say, "afore you bu'st Yo-se'fa-laughin' bout @3my@1 name?" I says. An' nen he dwy up laughin' -- kind o' mad -- An' say, "W'y, @3my@1 name's @3Squidjicum,"@1 he says. An' nen @3I@1 laugh an' say -- @3"Gee!@1 what a name!" An' when I make fun of his name, like that, He ist git awful mad an' spunky, an' 'Fore you know, he gwabbed holt of a vine -- A big long vine 'at's danglin' up there, an' He ist helt on wite tight to that, an' down He swung quick past my face, he did, an' ist Kicked at me hard's he could! But I'm too quick Fer @3Mr. Squidjicum!@1 I ist weached out An' ketched him, in my hand -- an' helt him, too, An' @3squeezed@1 him, ist like little wobins when They can't fly yet an' git flopped out their nest. An' nen I turn him all wound over, an' Look at him clos't, you know -- wite clos't -- cause ef He @3is@1 a Fairy, w'y, I want to see The @3wings@1 he's got. -- But he's dwessed up so fine 'At I can't @3see@1 no wings. -- An' all the time He's twyin' to kick me yet: An' so I take F'esh holts an' @3squeeze@1 ag'in -- an' harder, too; An' I says, @3"Hold up, Mr. Squidjicum!@1 -- You're kickin' the w'ong man!" I says; an' nen I ist @3squeeze'@1 him, purt' night my @3best,@1 I did -- An' I heerd somepin' bu'st! -- An' nen he cwied An' says, "You better look out what you're doin'! -- You' bu'st my spider-web suspenners, an' You' got my wose-leaf coat all cwinkled up So's I can't go to old Miss Hoodjicum's Tea-party, 's afternoon!" An' nen I says -- "Who's 'old Miss Hoodjicum'?" I says. An' he Says, "Ef you lemme loose I'll tell you." So I helt the little skeezics 'way fur out In one hand -- so's he can't jump down t' th' ground Wivout a-gittin' all stove up: an' nen I says, "You're loose now. -- Go ahead an' tell 'Bout the 'tea-party' where you're goin' at So awful fast!" I says. An' nen he say, -- "No use to @3tell@1 you 'bout it, 'cause you won't Believe it, 'less you go there your own se'f An' see it wiv your own two eyes!" he says. An' @3he@1 says: "Ef you lemme @3shore-'nuff@1 loose, An' p'omise 'at you'll keep wite still, an' won't Tetch nothin' 'at you see -- an' never tell Nobody in the world -- n' lemme loose -- W'y, nen I'll @3take@1 you there!" But I says, "Yes An' ef I let you loose, you'll @3run!"@1 I says. An' he says, "No, I won't! -- I hope-may-die!" Nen I says, "Cwoss your heart you won't!" An' he Ist cwoss his heart; an' nen I reach an' set The little feller up on a long vine -- An' he 'uz so tickled to git lose ag'in, He gwab the vine wiv boff his little hands An' ist take an' turn in, he did, an' skin 'Bout forty-'leben cats! Nen when he git Thue whirlin' wound the vine, an' set on top Of it ag'in, w'y, nen his "wose-leaf coat" He bwag so much about, it's ist all tored Up, an' ist hangin' strips an' rags -- so he Look like his Pa's a dwunkard. An' so nen When he see what he's done -- a-actin' up So smart, -- he's awful mad, I guess; an' ist Pout out his lips an' twis' his little face Ist ugly as he kin, an' set an' tear His whole coat off -- an' sleeves an' all. -- An' nen He wad it all togevver an' ist @3th'ow@1 It at me ist as hard as he kin dwive! An' when I weach to ketch him, an' 'uz goin' To give him 'nuvver squeezin', @3he ist flewed@1 @3Clean up on top the arbor!@1 -- 'Cause, you know, They @3wuz@1 wings on him -- when he tored his @3coat@1 Clean off -- they @3wuz@1 wings @3under there@1. But they Wuz purty wobbly-like an' wouldn't work Hardly at all -- 'cause purty soon, when I Th'owed clods at him, an' sticks, an' got him shooed Down off o' there, he come a-floppin' down An' lit k-bang! on our old chicken-coop, An' ist laid there a-whimper'n' like a child! An' I tiptoed up wite clos't, an' I says, "What's The matter wiv ye, Squidjicum?" An' he Says: "Dog-gone! when my wings gits stwaight ag'in, Where you all @3crumpled@1 'em," he says, "I bet I'll ist fly clean away, an' won't take you To old Miss Hoodjicum's at all!" he says. An' nen I ist weach out wite quick, I did, An' gwab the sassy little snipe ag'in -- Nen tooked my top-stwing an' tie down his wings So's he @3can't@1 fly, 'less'n I want him to! An' nen I says: "Now, Mr. Squidjicum, You better ist light out," I says, "to old Miss Hoodjicum's, an' show @3me@1 how to git There, too," I says; "er ef you don't," I says, "I'll climb up wiv you on our buggy-shed An' push you off!" I says. An' nen he say All wite, he'll show me there; an' tell me nen To set him down wite easy on his feet, An' loosen up the stwing a little where It cut him under th' arms. An' nen he says, "Come on!" he says; an' went a-limpin' 'long The garden-paph -- an' limpin' 'long an' 'long Tel -- purty soon he come on 'long to where's A grea'-big cabbage-leaf. An' he stoop down An' say, "Come on inunder here wiv me!" So @3I@1 stoop down an' crawl inunder there, Like he say. An' inunder there's a grea'- Big clod, they is -- a' awful grea'-big clod! An' nen he says, @3"Woll this-here clod away!"@1 An' so I woll' the clod away. An' nen It's all wet, where the dew'z inunder where The old clod wuz. -- An' nen the Fairy he Git on the wet-place: Nen he say to me, "Git on the wet-place, too!" An' nen he say, "Now hold yer breff an' shet yer eyes!" he says, "Tel I say @3Squinchy-winchy!"@1 Nen he say -- Somepin' @3in Dutch,@1 I guess. -- An' nen I felt Like we 'uz sinkin' down -- an' sinkin' down! -- Tel purty soon the little Fairy weach An' pinch my nose an' yell at me an' say, @3"Squinchy-winchy! Look wherever you please!"@1 Nen when I looked -- Oh! they 'uz purtiest place Down there you ever saw in all the World! -- They 'uz ist @3flowers@1 an' @3woses@1 -- yes, an' @3twees@1 Wiv @3blossoms@1 on an' @3big wipe apples@1 boff! An' butterflies, they wuz -- an' hummin'-birds -- An' @3yeller@1birds an' @3blue@1birds -- yes, an' @3wed!@1 -- An' ever'wheres an' all awound 'uz vines Wiv wipe p'serve-pears on 'em! -- Yes, an' all An' ever'thing 'at's ever growin' in A garden -- er canned up -- all wipe at wunst! -- It wuz ist like a garden -- only it 'Uz ist a @3little bit@1 o' garden -- 'bout big wound As ist our twun'el-bed is. -- An' all wound An' wound the little garden's a gold fence -- An' little gold gate, too -- an' ash-hopper 'At's all gold, too -- an' ist full o' gold ashes! An' wite in th' middle o' the garden wuz A little gold house, 'at's ist 'bout as big As ist a bird-cage is: An' @3in@1 the house They 'uz whole-lots @3more@1 Fairies there -- 'cause I Picked up the little house, an' peeked in at The winders, an' I see 'em all in there Ist @3buggin'@1 round! An' Mr. Squidjicum He twy to make me quit, but I gwab @3him@1 An' poke him down the chimbly, too, I did! -- An' y'ort to see @3him@1 hop out 'mongst 'em there! -- Ist like he 'uz the boss an' ist got back! -- @3"Hain't ye got on them-air dew-dump lin's yet?"@1 He says. An' they says no. An' nen he says -- @3"Better git at 'em nen!"@1 he says, @3"wite quick@1 -- @3'Cause old Miss Hoodjicum's a-comin'!"@1 Nen They all set wound a little gold tub -- an' All 'menced a-peelin' dewdwops, ist like they 'Uz @3peaches.@1 -- An', it looked so funny, I Ist laugh' out loud, an' @3dwopped@1 the little house, An' 't bu'sted like a soap-bubble! -- an' 't skeered Me so, I -- I -- I, -- it skeered me so, -- I -- ist @3waked@1 up. -- No! I @3ain't@1 be'n @3asleep@1 An' @3dweam@1 it all, like @3you@1 think, -- but it's shore Fer-certain @3fact@1 an' cwoss my heart it is! | Discover our Poem Explanations and Poet Analyses!Other Poems of Interest...A BIT OF SKY by GEORGIA DOUGLAS JOHNSON HELTER SKELTER; OR, THE HUE AND CRY AFTER THE ATTORNEYS by JONATHAN SWIFT |