FOLKS up here at Rossville got up a Lectur' Course: -- All the leadin' citizens they wuz out in force; Met and talked at Williamses', and 'greed to meet ag'in; And helt another corkus when the next reports wuz in: Met ag'in at Samuelses'; and met ag'in at Moore's And Johnts putt the shutters up and jest barr'd the doors! -- And yit, I'll jest be dagg-don'd! ef't didn't take a week 'Fore we'd settled whare to write to git a man to speak! Found out whare the @3"Bureau"@1 wuz; and then and thare agreed To strike whilse the iron's hot and foller up the lead. -- Simp wuz Secatary; so he tuk his pen in hand, And ast 'em what they'd tax us fer the one on "Holy Land" -- "One of Colonel J. De-Koombs's Abelust and Best Lectur's," the circ'lar stated, "Give East er West!" Wanted fifty dollars and his kyar-fare to and from, And Simp wuz hence instructed fer to write him not to come. Then we talked and jawed around another week er so, And writ the @3"Bureau"@1 'bout the town a-bein' sorto' slow -- Old-fogey-like, and pore as dirt, and lackin' interprise, And ignornter'n any other, 'cordin' to its size: Tel finully the @3"Bureau"@1 said they'd send a cheaper man Fer forty dollars, who would give "A Talk About Japan" -- "A reg'lar Japanee hise'f," the pamphlet claimed; and so, Nobody knowed his languige, and of course we let him go! Kindo' then let up a spell -- but rallied onc't ag'in, And writ to price a feller on what's called the "violin" -- A Swede, er Pole, er somepin' -- but no matter what he wuz, Doc Cooper said he'd heerd him, and he wuzn't wuth a kuss! And then we ast fer @3Swingse's@1 terms; and @3Cook,@1 and @3Ingersoll@1 -- And blame! ef forty dollars looked like anything at all! And then @3Burdette,@1 we tried fer @3him;@1 and Bob he writ to say He wuz busy writin' ortographts and couldn't git away. At last -- along in Aprile -- we signed to take this-here Bill Nye of Californy, 'at wuz posted to appear "The Comicalest Funny Man 'at Ever Jammed a Hall!" So we made big preperations, and swep' out the church and all! And night he wuz to lectur', and the neghbors all wuz thare, And strangers packed along the aisles 'at come from ev'rywhare, Committee got a telegrapht the preacher read, 'at run -- "Got off at Rossville, @3Indiany,@1 'stid of Michigun." | Discover our Poem Explanations and Poet Analyses!Other Poems of Interest...SIGISMONDA AND GUISCARDO by GIOVANNI BOCCACCIO LEE TO THE REAR [MAY 12, 1864] by JOHN REUBEN THOMPSON IDYLL 15. THE EPITHALAMIUM OF ACHILLES AND DEIDAMIA by BION TO A LADY FOR A NOSEGAY by JOHN GARDINER CALKINS BRAINARD A PENITENTIAL SOLILOQUY by JOHN BYROM ON MISTRESS NEVILLE; TO THE GREEN SICKNESS by THOMAS CAREW BOOKS & READING by JOHN JAY CHAPMAN FOUR METRICAL EXPERIMENTS: 2. TROCHAICS by SAMUEL TAYLOR COLERIDGE |