"A man is, in general, better pleased when he has a good dinner upon his table, than when his wife speaks Greek." -- SAMUEL JOHNSON. JOHNSON was right. I don't agree to all The solemn dogmas of the rough old stager; But very much approve what one may call The minor morals of the "Ursa Major." Johnson was right. Although some men adore Wisdom in woman, and with learning cram her, There is n't one in ten but thinks far more Of his own grub than of his spouse's grammar. I know it is the greatest shame in life; But who among them (save, perhaps, myself) Returning hungry home, but asks his wife What beef -- not books -- she has upon the shelf? Though Greek and Latin be the lady's boast, They're little valued by her loving mate; The kind of tongue that husband's relish most Is modern, boiled, and served upon a plate. Or if, as fond ambition may command, Some home-made verse the happy matron show him, What mortal spouse but from her dainty hand Would sooner see a pudding than a poem? Young lady, -- deep in love with Tom or Harry, -- 'T is sad to tell you such a tale as this; But here's the moral of it: Do not marry; Or, marrying, take your lover as he is, A very man, with something of the brute (Unless he prove a sentimental noddy), With passions strong and appetite to boot, A thirsty soul within a hungry body. A very man, -- not one of nature's clods, -- With human failings, whether saint or sinner; Endowed, perhaps, with genius from the gods, But apt to take his temper from his dinner. | Discover our Poem Explanations and Poet Analyses!Other Poems of Interest...NEEDLE THREADER IN NEED OF A NEEDLE by DARA WIER PINE-TREES AND THE SKY: EVENING by RUPERT BROOKE STANZAS WRITTEN ON THE ROAD BETWEEN FLORENCE AND PISA by GEORGE GORDON BYRON IN EARLIEST SPRING by WILLIAM DEAN HOWELLS IMPRESSION DU MATIN by OSCAR WILDE TOLEDO CAPTURED BY THE FRANKS by AL-ASSAL INSCRIPTION IN NETHER STOREY CHURCH IN MEMORY OF RICHARD CAMPLIN by WILLIAM LISLE BOWLES THE MANX WITCH; A STORY OF THE LAXDALE MINES by THOMAS EDWARD BROWN |