A MOUNTEBANK whose life displayed Uncommon genius in the trade Of getting much while giving naught (Except a deal of knavish thought), Gave out through all the country round That he the magic art had found Of teaching Eloquence to all Who chose to pay, (the fee was small!) Indeed, the rogue declared, his plan Would educate the dullest man, Nay, e'en a horse or ox or ass, Till he in speaking would surpass Immortal Tully! and would show All modern arts that lawyers know, Besides, to grace a brilliant speech "All this I undertake to teach The merest dunce, -- or else," he said, "The forfeiture shall be my head!" Of course so marvelous a thing Soon, through the courtiers, reached the king; Who, having called the charlatan Into his presence, thus began: "Well, Sir Professor, I have heard Your boasts, and take you at your word. Between us be it now agreed That to my stable you proceed At once, and thence a donkey take, Of whom -- 't is bargained -- you shall make An orator of fluent speech; Or, failing thus the brute to teach, You shall be hanged till you are dead!" "A bargain, Sire!" the fellow said; "And ten years' time shall be allowed; It is but fair." The monarch bowed. "And now my fee be pleased to pay!" Then takes the gold and goes away. A courtier whom he chanced to meet, A fortnight later, in the street, Began the fellow to deride About his bargain, -- "Faith!" he cried, "A fine agreement you have made! I mean to see the forfeit paid; The art of rhetoric to teach, Of course you'll make a gallows speech!" "Laugh as you may, my merry man!" Replied the cunning charlatan; "Although my wisdom you may flout, I know quite well what I'm about. If in the years allotted I, The king, or ass, should chance to die, Pray, don't you see, my giddy friend, The bargain finds a speedy end? My fee was but a premium paid To one in the insurance trade. Of one or other of the three Ten years are pretty sure to see The epitaph, -- as chances fall; I take the hazard, -- that is all!" | Discover our Poem Explanations and Poet Analyses!Other Poems of Interest...SYMPATHETIC PORTRAIT OF A CHILD by WILLIAM CARLOS WILLIAMS HIS CAVALIER by ROBERT HERRICK IN THE NEOLITHIC AGE by RUDYARD KIPLING AT TWO-AND-TWENTY by THOMAS BAILEY ALDRICH PEARLS OF THE FAITH: 93. AL-NOOR by EDWIN ARNOLD |