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Classic and Contemporary Poetry


THE LAWYER'S VALENTINE by JOHN GODFREY SAXE

First Line: I'M NOTIFIED, FAIR NEIGHBOR MINE
Last Line: WITH NO REMAINDER OVER!
Subject(s): HOLIDAYS; LAW & LAWYERS; VALENTINE'S DAY;

I'M notified, fair neighbor mine,
By one of our profession,
That this -- the Term of Valentine --
Is Cupid's Special Session.

Permit me, therefore, to report
Myself, on this occasion,
Quite ready to proceed to Court,
And File my Declaration.

I've an Attachment for you, too;
A legal and a strong one;
Oh, yield unto the Process, do;
Nor let it be a long one!

No scowling bailiff lurks behind;
He'd be a precious noddy,
Who, failing to Arrest the mind,
Should go and Take the Body!

For though a form like yours might throw
A sculptor in distraction;
I couldn't serve a Capias, -- no,
I'd scorn so base an action!

Oh, do not tell me of your youth,
And turn away demurely;
For though you're very young, in truth,
You're not an Infant surely!

The Case is everything to me;
My heart is love's own tissue.
Don't plead a Dilatory Plea;
Let's have the General Issue!

Or, since you've really no Defense,
Why not, this present Session,
Omitting all absurd pretense,
Give judgment by Confession?

So shall you be my lawful wife;
And I -- your faithful lover --
Be Tenant of your heart for Life,
With no Remainder over!



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