I. WHEN, deeply in love with Miss Emily Cline, I vowed, if the maiden would only be mine, I would always endeavor to please her. She blushed her consent, though the stuttering lass Said never a word, except "You're an ass -- An ass -- an ass-iduous teaser!" II. But when we were married I found to my ruth The stammering lady had spoken the truth, For often, in obvious dudgeon, She'd say, -- if I ventured to give her a jog In the way of reproof, -- "You're a dog -- you're a dog -- A dog -- a dog-matic curmudgeon!" III. And once when I said, "We can hardly afford This extravagant style, with our moderate hoard," And hinted we ought to be wiser, She looked, I assure you, exceedingly blue, And fretfully cried, "You're a ju -- you're a ju -- A very ju-dicious adviser!" IV. Again, when it happened that, wishing to shirk Some rather unpleasant and arduous work, I begged her to go to a neighbor; She wanted to know why I made such a fuss, And saucily said, "You're a cus -- cus -- cus -- You were always ac-cus-tomed to labor!" V. Out of temper at last with the insolent dame, And feeling that Madam was greatly to blame To scold me instead of caressing, I mimicked her speech -- like a churl as I am -- And angrily said, "You're a dam -- dam -- dam -- A dam-age instead of a blessing!" | Discover our Poem Explanations and Poet Analyses!Other Poems of Interest...THE FLOWERING FAGGOTS by WILLIAM ROSE BENET HINC LACHRIMAE; OR THE AUTHOR TO AURORA: 40 by WILLIAM BOSWORTH SCARLETT ROCKS by THOMAS EDWARD BROWN HE WHO LOSETH HIS LIFE SHALL FIND IT by RICHARD EUGENE BURTON CHINESE DRAWINGS: A PHILOSOPHER by WITTER BYNNER |