THOUGH William Pitt (nick-named the Tory In Morris's facetious story,) Retains the honours of his name As a Debates-man, Who in the House of Commons, "@3ore Rotundo,@1" cried up England's glory, Yet as a statesman, Or as a financier, his fame May be compared to his own sinking fund, Which, if not quite extinct, is @3moribund.@1 Seeing this heaven-born minister's renown In his political capacity, Thus tumbling down, An instance of his smart dicacity, Ought in justice to be stated, In order that the reader may bestow Due praise on the defunct for a @3bon-mot,@1 The only one he ever perpetrated. When the French threatened in flat-bottomed boats To come and cut our throats, Pitt -- then Lord Warden of the Cinque Ports -- held A meeting in the town of Dover, To settle, should the French come over, How they might best and soonest be repell'd; Which said assemblage, being fierce and loyal, Declared that England might discard her fears, For they themselves would promise to destroy all The French, if they might form a corps, the Mayor To be commander, and the whole to bear The name of Royal Dover Volunteers. The Premier, when the cheering ceased, Smiled, for he knew the dictum true, That greatest boasters do the least, And whispered to himself -- "The Dover traders Are most insufferable gasconaders; If any folks deserve an @3innuendo,@1 By way of a rebuke, I'm sure these men do." However no remark was made, Until the secretary reading o'er The rules and regulations of the corps, Broke off, and to the chairman said, "Sir, I respectfully submit That it were well on this occasion, Among our standing rules and laws, To insert the customary clause, @3Not to serve out of England.@1" -- "Yes," said Pitt, "@3Except in case of an invasion!@1" |