WHEN the eccentric Rabelais was physician To Cardinal Lorraine, he sat at dinner Beside that gormandizing sinner; Not like the medical magician Who whisked from Sancho Panza's fauces The evanescent meats and sauces, But to protect his sacred master Against such diet as obstructs The action of the epigastre, O'erloads the biliary ducts, The peristaltic motion crosses, And puzzles the digestive process. The Cardinal, one hungry day, First having with his eyes consumed Some lampreys that before him fumed, Had plunged his fork into the prey, When Rabelais gravely shook his head, Tapped on his plate three times and said -- "Pah! -- hard digestion! hard digestion!" And his bile-dreading Eminence, Though sorely tempted, had the sense To send it off without a question. -- "Hip! Hallo! bring the lampreys here!" Cried Rabelais, as the dish he snatched; And gobbling up the dainty cheer, The whole was instantly dispatched. Redden'd with vain attempts at stifling At once his wrath and appetite, His patron cried, "Your conduct's rude, This is no subject, sir, for trifling; How dare you designate this food As indigestible and crude, Then swallow it before my sight?" Quoth Rabelais, "It may soon be shown That I don't merit this rebuff: I tapped @3the plate,@1 and that you'll own, Is indigestible enough; But as to this unlucky fish, With you so strangely out of favour, Not only 'tis a wholesome dish, But one of most delicious flavour!" | Discover our Poem Explanations and Poet Analyses!Other Poems of Interest...TO-MORROW IS MY BIRTHDAY by EDGAR LEE MASTERS DREAM-PEDLARY by THOMAS LOVELL BEDDOES GOD EVERYWHERE by ABRAHAM IBN EZRA THE LEGEND OF ARA-COELI by THOMAS BAILEY ALDRICH MY NATIVE LAND by JOHANNA AMBROSIUS |