"YE gastric graces of Pall Mall, Fish, soup, and pate, fare ye well, Give me some cot Helvetian, Thither I fain my flight would wing, Of clubs the abdicated king, An uncrown'd Dioclesian." Scarce had I thus petitioned Fate, When lo! a card with lines so straight, Arachne seemed to rule 'em, Wooed me to fair Pastora's shrine -- An invitation out to dine At Ivy Cottage, Fulham! "'Tis well!" I cried. "At Wilt's control Here Temperance will pass the bowl, And Health rise up the winner, Full well I know the classic spot -- Swiss is the scenery, Swiss the cot, And Swiss, no doubt the dinner. "Deal table; cloth as smooth as silk; Brown loaf; an avalanche of milk; At most a brace of rabbits; Cheese, hard enough to pose a shark; And water, 'clear as di'mond spark,' To suit my Hindoo habits. "Six three-legg'd stools, of antique shapes: Ripe figs; a plate of purple grapes, As sweet as honeysuckles; A girl to wait, of buxom hue, In dark-brown bodice, apron blue, Red hose, and silver buckles." Nought rose to sever lip and cup: I came. Had Fanny Kelly up The outside stair been skipping, With three long plaits of braided hair, 'Twould seem the @3ipse locus@1 where Macready pierced the pippin. But soon the inside put to rout The dreams engender'd by the out; Chintz chairs with sofa paddings; Bright stoves, at war with humid damps; Pianos; rosewood tables; lamps, As brilliant as Aladdin's. Fish, soup, and mutton, finely dress'd, Adorned the board: a pleasant guest Was placed my right and left on; With dishes lateral, endued With flavor to astonish Ude, Lucullus, or Lord Sefton. The party, 'mid the sound of corks, (Although the bread was white; the forks Were silver, not metallic,) Seemed not to see the joke was this, That, while the outside walls were Swiss, The feast was Anglo-Gallic. So, as in eastern song is shown, Some sable, antiquated crone, As wily as a bailiff, Leads, blindfold, on his hands and knees, Some youth, through alleys dark, to please Great Haroun the Caliph. The bandage gone, a blaze of light Salutes his now enchanted sight; He views a new creation: Dim Bagdad totters to its fall, A fairy palace smiles, and all Is bright illumination. | Discover our Poem Explanations and Poet Analyses!Other Poems of Interest...TO NANNETTE FALK-AUERBACH by SIDNEY LANIER ALL RELIGIONS ARE ONE by WILLIAM BLAKE POOR [OR, COCK] ROBIN by MOTHER GOOSE MADLY SINGING IN THE MOUNTAINS by PO CHU-YI THE BLIND MEN AND THE ELEPHANT by JOHN GODFREY SAXE LADY CLARA VERE DE VERE by ALFRED TENNYSON THE SWISS EMIGRANT by LUCY AIKEN HYMN, COMPOSED FOR THE CHILDREN OF A SUNDAY SCHOOL by BERNARD BARTON THE IMPROVISATORE: THE INDUCTION TO THE FIRST FYTTE by THOMAS LOVELL BEDDOES |