THROB, throb, throb, weariness, ache, and pain! One's heart had one's eyes on fire, And never a spark in one's brain. The stupid paper and ink, That might be turned into gold, Lie here unused, Since one's brain refused To do its tricks -- as of old. One can suffer still, indeed, But one cannot think any more. There's no fire in the grate, No food on the plate, And the East-wind shrieks through the door. The sunshine grins in the street: It used to cheer me like wine, Now it only quickens my brain's sick beat; And the children are crying for bread to eat And I cannot write a line! Molly, my pet -- don't cry, Father can't write if you do -- And anyhow, if you only knew, It's hard enough as it is. There, give old daddy a kiss, And cuddle down on the floor; We'll have some dinner by-and-by. Now, fool, try! Try once more! Hold your head tight in your hands, Bring your will to bear! The children are starving -- your little ones -- While you sit fooling there. Beth, with her golden hair Moll, with her rough, brown head -- here they are -- see! Against your knee, Waiting there to be fed! -- I cannot bear their eyes. Their soft little kisses burn -- They will cry again In vain, in vain, For the food that I cannot earn. If I could only write Just half a column or so On 'The Prospects of Trade,' or 'The Irish Question,' or 'Why are Wages so Low?' -- The printers are waiting for copy now, I've had my next week's screw, There'll be nothing more till I've written something, God! what am I to do? If I could only write! The paper glares up white Like the cursed white of the heavy stone Under which she lies alone; And the ink is black like death, And the room and the window are black. Molly, Molly -- the sun's gone out, Cannot you fetch it back? Did I frighten my little ones? Never mind, daddy dropped asleep -- Cuddle down closely, creep Close to his knee And daddy will see If he can't do his writing. Vain! I shall never write again! Oh, God! was it like a love divine To make their lives hang on my pen When I cannot write a line? |