OF all life's plagues I recommend to no man To hire as a domestic a deaf woman. I've got one who my orders does not hear, Mishears them rather, and keeps blundering near. Thirsty and hot, I asked her for a @3drink;@1 She bustled out, and brought me back some @3ink@1. Eating a good rump-steak, I called for @3mustard;@1 Away she went, and whipped me up a @3custard@1. I wanted with my chicken to have @3ham;@1 Blundering once more, she brought a pot of @3jam@1. I wished in season for a cut of @3salmon;@1 And what she brought me was a huge fat @3gammon@1. I can't my voice raise higher and still higher, As if I were a herald or town-crier. 'T would better be if she were deaf outright; But anyhow she quits my house this night. | Discover our Poem Explanations and Poet Analyses!Other Poems of Interest...CONTRA MORTEM: THE WATER by HAYDEN CARRUTH WORDS IN A CERTAIN APPROPRIATE MODE by HAYDEN CARRUTH PLACE FOR A THIRD by ROBERT FROST DESPAIR by GEORGIA DOUGLAS JOHNSON THE MAN TO BE by GEORGIA DOUGLAS JOHNSON THE TOURNAMENT by SIDNEY LANIER HONEY DRIPPER by CLARENCE MAJOR CONSECRATED GROUND; READ AT THE NEW YORK CITY HALL by EDWIN MARKHAM |