Poetry Explorer


Classic and Contemporary Poetry


THE VINEGAR MAN by RUTH COMFORT MITCHELL

First Line: THE CRAZY OLD VINEGAR MAN IS DEAD! HE NEVER HAD MISSED A DAY BEFORE!
Last Line: THE VINEGAR MAN IS A LONG TIME DEAD: HE DIED WHEN HE TORE HIS VALENTINE.
Subject(s): DEATH; VINEGAR; DEAD, THE;

The crazy old Vinegar Man is dead! He never had missed a day before!
Somebody went to his tumble-down shed, by the Haunted House, and forced the
door.
There in the litter of his pungent pans, the murky mess of his mixing place, --
Deep, sticky spiders and empty cans -- with the same old frown on his sour old
face.

"Vinegar-Vinegar-Vinegar Man!
Face-us-and-chase-us-and-catch-if-you-can!
Pepper for a tongue! Pickle for a nose!
Stick a pin in him and vinegar flows!
Glare-at-us-swear-at-us-catch-if-you-can!
Ketch-up-and-chow-chow-and-Vinegar-Man!"

Nothing but recipes and worthless junk; greasy old records of paid and due;
But, down in the depths of a battered trunk, a queer, quaint valentine torn in
two --
Red hearts and arrows, and silver lace, and a prim, dim, ladylike script that
said --
(Oh, Vinegar Man, with the sour old face!) -- "With dearest love, from Ellen to
Ned!"

"Steal-us-and-peel-us-and-drown-us-in-brine!
He pickles his heart in" -- @3a valentine!@1
"Vinegar for blood! Pepper for his tongue!
Stick a pin in him and" -- @3once he was young!@1
"Glare-at-us-swear-at-us-catch-if-you-can!" --
"With dearest love" -- to the Vinegar Man!

Dingy little books of profit and loss (died about Saturday, so they say)
And a queer, quaint valentine, torn across . . . torn, but it never was thrown
away!
"With dearest love from Ellen to Ned" -- "Old Pepper Tongue! Pickles his heart
in brine!"
The Vinegar Man is a long time dead: he died when he tore his valentine.



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